Sunday, 28 January 2018


"I do need advice. Sorry for asking and being weird. I liked a boy (as in had a crush on him). I wanted to declare my love at Christmas so sent him a children’s book called ‘I like you’. He responded in the worst possibly way (all he said is ‘that book is the ’) and I don’t know if he understood it. Conversation has moved well and truly on. We don’t live in the same city so I don’t see him often. He is also American so hard to understand. I don’t know whether to pursue (should I send him the same book again to hammer the point home?) or is his response so bad I should just give up? The Please help. I am tormented by this and my friends won’t talk to me anymore whenever I bring him up they just say BOMB.COM"

WOW. First of all, never apologise for asking for advice. I think that quite a lot of the time our pals get a bit sick of us talking about the same crushes in the group chat, or obsessively dissecting BUT WHAT DID THEY MEAN texts with our besties. To the point that they say things like BOMB DOT COM every time you bring them up. I found myself talking about my various tinder hook ups with my best friend so much, that when the real deal did come along, he was so sick of it he actually didn't want to know anymore, and in fact told me pretty much that. Which was kinda heartbreaking in itself when all you want to do is be absolutely disgustingly gross and wax lyrical about them. So seeking another avenue or outlet for some advice is cool and probably warranted.

So, I am going to be straight with you here, and offer my sincerest condolences that this trashbag treated you like this. I know that men are often accused of not understanding subtly and nuance but I don't think that this was a case of that. Furthermore I don't think we can blame this on a cultural divide. You basically smashed him over the head with a book shaped brick that said I LIKE YOU. I think ultimately here you were very clear. Under no circumstances must you send him another book.

Generally, if a guy is into you, he is going to let you know he is into you. He won't be subtle about it after you have made your intentions known, even if he is super duper shy. You even said it yourself 'the conversation has moved on' so I think he has made his feelings known. Also for arguments sake, lets say he didn't know that you were into him, and he didn't get the fuck off massive clue that you wanted to climb him like a tree, do you even want to be with a guy who didn't get those GIANT HINTS and followed it up with B O M B D O T C O M? Hardly a story for the grandchildren.

Like I think your book move was very cute, but in the future for the avoidance of doubt, if you can stomach it, a straight forward I like you do you want to hang out/get a drink/bang/go to the zoo/insert fun activity here is a better move. Yes rejection hurts, but once you do it a few times it does get easier, and surely a text that says, hey I am really flattered but i don't want to ruin our friendship, but lets hang out soon I don't want to make things weird" or words to that effect, is better than this long drawn out obsessing over BOMB DOT COM?

I am really sorry, you deserve more than this clueless banana. Do not pursue any further, do not waste any more energy on this dude, and please let me reiterate, do not under any circumstances send him another book.


"I do need advice. Sorry for asking and being weird. I liked a boy (as in had a crush on him). I wanted to declare my love at Chr...

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